|
|
| |
|
Question :
|
Hello Dr. Sonya,
I have a boyfriend of 2 years.Both of us are staying in different countries away from our motherland.But during these 2 years i have found him very insensitive and inhuman. I dont deny the fact that hez nice person by heart also I know he doesnt have any affair but sometimes he just gets busy in his life so much that he forgets that I even exist. He would not call me for days.When i call him he says he iz busy with his assignments/meetings. This time I met with an accident he dint even bother to ask me about my health inspite of knowing the fact that I am staying alone with no one around. When I left for India this time he dint even kno my itinerary and dint bother to call me up and ask where I would be staying in Delhi since my flight would b landing at 10pm and I have my bus only at 6am next day and I have no one in Delhi. He would always ask me not to disturb him since he has this or that exam.He has full time to go to the temple, movies, cook food for himself including his personl work. but i takes me for granted and puts me in the least priority Queue.
When I complain about all these things he would put the entire blame on me asking me to understand his situation of being overloaded with the studies, nd that its my duty to call him up from the airport before leaving which I did but he was busy in a meeting.
I dont think this is the way to maintain the distance relationship. I m confused. Plz help if I should be continuing with this kind of person further or not.
Posted By:
Natasha,[India]
Date:
Tuesday, October 27, 2009 12:09 PM
|
|
|
|
Answer :
|
Hi Natasha,
Trying to maintain a long distance relationship is hard but its even tougher when both of you are facing changes and challenges and new environments.
It does sound like your boyfriend is taking you very much for granted. He must understand that it takes 2 to maintain any relationship and that the challenges of a long distance one place additional burdens which no one person can shoulder alone.
At the same time I must also point out that one can get totally bogged down in day to day life and in that struggle put everything not in front of you on a lower priority. Before you make a decision just think about your demands and make sure that you are being reasonable and that your insecurity is not pushing you to make unrealistic demands.
If you feel that you are being realistic and reasonable but your boyfriend is not carrying his share of the relationship you might want to consider ending it. People do change and perhaps this man has changed in terms of how important you are to him and how much he values your relationship. If that turns out to be the case I would urge you to end the relationship before it causes you any more anxiety and pain.
Answer By:
Dr Sonya Mehta
|
|
|
|
|
Post your reply |
|
|
Dr Sonya Mehta is one of the most outspoken and articulate Indian psychologists today.
About the show :
Feedback |
Advertise |
Jobs