Dr Sonya Mehta is one of the most outspoken and articulate Indian psychologists today.

Practising for the past 15 years, Dr Mehta received her training in the US, where she earned her Ph.D in Psychology.

For the past three years she has served as a consultant to various TV news channels and has been a frequent guest on We the people on NDTV 24X7 hosted by Barkha Dutt and Lounge on NDTV GOOD TIMES.

The mother of two teenagers, Dr Mehta is particularly interested in adolescents and in dealing with relationship issues.

AND SHE is here to answer your queries!

About the show :
Hosted by Rajat Kapoor, Lounge is a tri-weekly chat show which invites real people to tell real stories.

So many people have questions to ask, issues to discuss, problems to fix, experiences to share, stories to tell.

This show gives people the platform to acknowledge issues we should be talking about and to answer questions we should be asking.

It’s a progressive show which talks about things that are happening and changing in India but people are still shying away from.


Through its course different kinds of relationships are explored -- from falling in love to falling out of love, from marriages to divorces – every relationship comes within it scope.

The show celebrates the dynamics of these relationships.

 
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Ask our relationship expert Dr Sonya Mehta
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tashu | Date : 21/11/2009
hey sonia
wat happened? i didnt get any reply to my problem
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Rishi Raj | Date : 19/11/2009
Ma'am,
I'm Rishi, 17 yrs old boy in 11th standard schooling.
I was in likeness with a girl called Richa from past 2 years. We were best friends. This year in March I proposed her and she accepted. We were having a very healthy ad good chemistry relationship. But this August some people instigated her against me and she broke up.

The problem is, I can't help getting her out of my mind. She lives in my neighborhood, boards the same bus and is my classmate. She ignores me successfully but I just can't avoid her and because of that I get a lot of mental depression and sleepless nights. I also adopted bad habits like of smoking and occasional drinkings too.

I need your help just to stabilize my mind so that I can concentrate on my studies rather than her.

Hoping for a reply...
Thanks!
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tia | Date : 19/11/2009
hi sonya.
i have a best frnd who is a guy....now d thing is that he is married .earlier his grlfriend had no issues with us bt somehow he raised hand on her because of me...after that things changed between me n her...
now they are married.....i just want to convince her that we are just friends n i was never to be blamed for he hitting her......just dont knoe what to do.i want to be frnds with her again......we were realy gud to eachother earlier.....my best friend is also tensed because of this....please help i cant do without him and cant even see this that his wife hating me because i want all of to be together,please please help
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shashi | Date : 18/11/2009
i got average looks and my husband is quite handsome this has been a major issue for my mother in law. now i have two boys and they are comparing my children to my father in law and sister in law . i am feeling very depressed when they tell me my kids look like them as if they know more about my kids. i am depressed please send a solution
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Antz | Date : 18/11/2009
Hi Dr, I had previously written to you but unfortunately i didn't get any reply from you.My probs is my hubby, he literally harassed me(whtever i said, whtever i did was all wrong) for a yr now and i kept wondering why is he hating me so much these days tht even after a yr he didn't want to be good with me, my frnds had asked me to findout if thr was any affair but i always told them my hubby wouldn't do any such thing, only to findout abt his affair last week.eventhough he is sorry n guilty abt the affair, i can no more trust him.hubby was the one to force the girl into the affair (& she forced her on to me pretending to be my frnd & i hated her so much frm the start) and hubby has been patient with me in answering all my questions.Girl's marriage is now broke and frm past few days keeping quiet, she was in the US whn the affair was going on, she is coming bck next week.they both r in same proj and will be sitting in same room after her return.hubby is scared to go to office everyday b'cos if she complains in the office with any other story, hubby will be thrown out of office.My probs is tht how can i trust, love my hubby again.we already had a probs of understanding eachother n used to fight a lot, how can we ignite tht passion of love again.ours was a luv marriage and have 2.5yr old kid, i quit working after having baby.we r now planning to move near whr my parents live so tht i can go bck to work without getting tensed of leaving my kid @ daycare.past few days i was always taunting hubby but i knw tht will move us apart & i've been trying to keep quiet.How can i be sure my hubby will not try to have an affair again, eventhough he is terrible guilty n ashamed abt wht hpnd. He likes to live like as if he is living in a hotel, won't help me in any of the house chores and don't even spend time with me whn am doing work, he is always into laptop n tv, it has changed frm few days b'cos of the probs n i keep demanding too(which i have always done).
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Priya | Date : 18/11/2009
hai
I'm totally confused these days. My self a graphic designer and my husband an I T professional .happily married for last 7 yrs .Have a daughter of 5 yr .A very happy family.Till now we did not think about an another baby .Now those hhoughts came to my mind and I really feel to have one more kid .When I discused with my husband he is not at all wanting for an another one .He had his own reasons .Our age ,financial postion,expensive educations theses days etc ,and main point was u cannot gurantee that second one would be a BOY.He cannot even imagin to be the father of 2 girls............ But I eagerly want one more .Please tell me what to do .Should I be happy wih my only child........
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MUNEERA | Date : 18/11/2009
HI MEM,
I HVE ALWZYS SEEN UR SUGGESTION R VERY PERFECT,I REALLY WISH U GIVE ME KIND OF PERMANENT REMEDIES OF MY PRB,AS I HVE MULTIPLE PROBLEMS.I HVE TWINS WHO R SUFFERING FRM CEREBAL PALSY(11YRS).WITH GRT-GRT DIFFICULTY I HVE PASSED ALL THESE YRS,BUT TO ADD TO THAT MOTHER-IN-LAW & SISTER-IN-LAW ALWAYS CREATES PROBLEM TO ME & MY HUBBY,WHO IS VERY SUPPORTIVE.BOTH OF THEM PLAYS GAME WITH ME,IF I DEFEND THEY STOP TALKING TO ME FOR MONTHS..THEY DOESN'T ALLOW MY PARENTS TO COME TO MY PLACE.I HAVEN'T MEET THEM FOR YRS...AS THEY STAY IN GUJ...I STAY IN BANGALORE.I PRACTICE YOGA & SOMEHOW MANAGE TO KEEP MYSELF CALM....BUT REALLY DONT KNOW HOW LONG.NO SOCIALISATION,AS TOO OCCUPIED WITH KIDS.HAD ONE MISSCARRAIGE.MY MOTHER-IN-LAW CREATES LOTS OF TENSION.I AM ANSWERABLE FOR ALL MY ACTS.IF I TALK WITH HER ITS A PROBLEM & IF DONT TALK IT BECOMES EVEN WORST.THOUGH I AM VERY STRONG-HEADED PERSON,NOW ME & MY HUBBY CANT HANDLE THIS TRAUMA.WE REALLY WANT TO LIVE INDEPENDENTLY BUT ARE STUCK WITH THE SITUATIONS,DESTINY & PEOPLE AROUND.ONE AFTER ANOTHER PROBLEMS KEEPS ON COMING.I WAS VERY TALKATIVE,ENERGETIC& LIVELY PERSON.THOUGH FROM MIDDLE CLASS BACKGROUND ALWAYS HAD HIGH DREAMS.EVERY THING CEASEDOFF ONE AFTER ANOTHER. HVE TRIED EVERYTHING POSSIBLE BUT ALL IN VEIN.MY HUBBY IS HERE FROM PAST 22YRS,RUNS HARDWARE SHOP.CANT LIVE THIS HOUSE,AS WE HAVE OUR OWN HOUSE.CANT LIVE HIS MOM,AS HE IS D ONLY SON & CANT LIVE HIS SISTER AS SHE STAY UP ON THE FLOOR OF OUR BUILDING &MOST IMPORTANTLY HAS TO DEAL WITH OUR KIDS PROBLEM AS WE LOVE THEM LIKE ANYTHING.THEY R ADORABLE KIDS,WHO NEEDS OUR LOVE & SUPPORT FULLTIME....AS THEY CANT WALK ,THEY CANT TALK & ARE FULLY DEPEND ON US FOR EACH & EVERYTHING.PLS HELP ME AS I AM GOING THROUGH LOTS OF EMOTIONAL TRAUMA.CANT HANDLE ALL THIS ANYMORE.
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Articulate | Date : 18/11/2009
Hi Sonya,

I met this great guy in Dec08. He was all nice and we had a great 2-3 months. We met and he wanted to get married by Nov. I was very happy and then all of a sudden he changed. Things didn't remain the same between us, he started ignoring my calls but he introduced me to his family. He started acting cold but his parents kept in touch with me. This has been going on since the past 6 months now, he keeps giving me on and off signals.

I hear from his friends that he is quite a player and he has had many girlfriends in the past, also had a long standing affair with a an older women, which I suspect still continues because I know he still is in touch with this older women. I would like to give credit to him because he did confess about his past affairs and I did forgive him for everything but he continues with his ways and ignores me big time.

I do not know what to do. I love this guy a lot and I want to get married to him. He keeps giving on and off signals, weeks go by where he doesnot keep in touch and keeps doing the disappearing act. He says he is confused, I give him all the space that I could. He refuses to talk about it and stonewalls me. I desperately want to resolve things but don't know how to. My friends tell me, I should move on, I have tried but have failed miserably, he is the first thing on my mind when I wake up and last thing when I go to bed.

Please help me Sonya.

Note: I suffer from low self esteem, had a troublesome childhood, have had bad relationships in the past.
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Angela Dina | Date : 18/11/2009
HI,
i am a 29year old , who started dating a very nice guy lately after a very bad break up 6months back. though the boy is very good, but we have nthing to talk about. our telephone conversations last for few minutes and it is only about daily what we have done.
with my prevous relation our topics were never ending. but with the new guy he does not open up to any personal topics. can u please help me in telling me how can i help this relation get more interesting and intimade?

please help
Angela
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zombie | Date : 18/11/2009
My girlfriend broke up with me 4 months back and I still love her.I was aggressive,abusive and worst of all raised my hand on her.We broke up then too but then i convinced her.Now we are out of college and both of us are from different places.We had long-term plans.After a normal usual fight she quit on me.Now i hav realized a whole lot of things but then she says she has no feelings for me.She changed her number,doesnt reply to my emails.Initially she wasnt incontact with her friends too but now she is fine with all her other friends.I want to get her back.She says she has given me enough chances and that I will never change.Every single person has asked me to move on but i want her back in my life.Please tell me a way how she could get back to me.I just love her!!!
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