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 Dr Sonya Mehta is one of the most outspoken and articulate Indian psychologists today.
Practising for the past 15 years, Dr Mehta received her training in the US, where she earned her Ph.D in Psychology.
For the past three years she has served as a consultant to various TV news channels and has been a frequent guest on We the people on NDTV 24X7 hosted by Barkha Dutt and Lounge on NDTV GOOD TIMES.
The mother of two teenagers, Dr Mehta is particularly interested in adolescents and in dealing with relationship issues.
AND SHE is here to answer your queries!
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 About the show :
Hosted by Rajat Kapoor, Lounge is a tri-weekly chat show which invites real people to tell real stories.
So many people have questions to ask, issues to discuss, problems to fix, experiences to share, stories to tell.
This show gives people the platform to acknowledge issues we should be talking about and to answer questions we should be asking.
It’s a progressive show which talks about things that are happening and changing in India but people are still shying away from.
Through its course different kinds of relationships are explored -- from falling in love to falling out of love, from marriages to divorces – every relationship comes within it scope.
The show celebrates the dynamics of these relationships.
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| Ask our relationship expert Dr Sonya Mehta |
Questions submitted can only be answered on-line and on this web site. Please do not ask Dr Mehta to reply directly to you as she is unable to respond to individual questions.You are welcome to provide an alias or in any other way conceal your identity for reasons of privacy.
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Disclaimer: The views expressed in the responses to the queries sent by our viewers/visitors to the website are of an independent expert and are based solely on the facts and circumstances disclosed in the query. The channel and/or the website may not necessarily endorse or subscribe to the same. Your problem may require a detailed discussion with an expert for redressal. Viewers/users are advised to seek professional help for the same.
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View all questions
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Antz
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Date : 18/11/2009
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Hi Dr, I had previously written to you but unfortunately i didn't get any reply from you.My probs is my hubby, he literally harassed me(whtever i said, whtever i did was all wrong) for a yr now and i kept wondering why is he hating me so much these days tht even after a yr he didn't want to be good with me, my frnds had asked me to findout if thr was any affair but i always told them my hubby wouldn't do any such thing, only to findout abt his affair last week.eventhough he is sorry n guilty abt the affair, i can no more trust him.hubby was the one to force the girl into the affair (& she forced her on to me pretending to be my frnd & i hated her so much frm the start) and hubby has been patient with me in answering all my questions.Girl's marriage is now broke and frm past few days keeping quiet, she was in the US whn the affair was going on, she is coming bck next week.they both r in same proj and will be sitting in same room after her return.hubby is scared to go to office everyday b'cos if she complains in the office with any other story, hubby will be thrown out of office.My probs is tht how can i trust, love my hubby again.we already had a probs of understanding eachother n used to fight a lot, how can we ignite tht passion of love again.ours was a luv marriage and have 2.5yr old kid, i quit working after having baby.we r now planning to move near whr my parents live so tht i can go bck to work without getting tensed of leaving my kid @ daycare.past few days i was always taunting hubby but i knw tht will move us apart & i've been trying to keep quiet.How can i be sure my hubby will not try to have an affair again, eventhough he is terrible guilty n ashamed abt wht hpnd. He likes to live like as if he is living in a hotel, won't help me in any of the house chores and don't even spend time with me whn am doing work, he is always into laptop n tv, it has changed frm few days b'cos of the probs n i keep demanding too(which i have always done).
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MUNEERA
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Date : 18/11/2009
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HI MEM,
I HVE ALWZYS SEEN UR SUGGESTION R VERY PERFECT,I REALLY WISH U GIVE ME KIND OF PERMANENT REMEDIES OF MY PRB,AS I HVE MULTIPLE PROBLEMS.I HVE TWINS WHO R SUFFERING FRM CEREBAL PALSY(11YRS).WITH GRT-GRT DIFFICULTY I HVE PASSED ALL THESE YRS,BUT TO ADD TO THAT MOTHER-IN-LAW & SISTER-IN-LAW ALWAYS CREATES PROBLEM TO ME & MY HUBBY,WHO IS VERY SUPPORTIVE.BOTH OF THEM PLAYS GAME WITH ME,IF I DEFEND THEY STOP TALKING TO ME FOR MONTHS..THEY DOESN'T ALLOW MY PARENTS TO COME TO MY PLACE.I HAVEN'T MEET THEM FOR YRS...AS THEY STAY IN GUJ...I STAY IN BANGALORE.I PRACTICE YOGA & SOMEHOW MANAGE TO KEEP MYSELF CALM....BUT REALLY DONT KNOW HOW LONG.NO SOCIALISATION,AS TOO OCCUPIED WITH KIDS.HAD ONE MISSCARRAIGE.MY MOTHER-IN-LAW CREATES LOTS OF TENSION.I AM ANSWERABLE FOR ALL MY ACTS.IF I TALK WITH HER ITS A PROBLEM & IF DONT TALK IT BECOMES EVEN WORST.THOUGH I AM VERY STRONG-HEADED PERSON,NOW ME & MY HUBBY CANT HANDLE THIS TRAUMA.WE REALLY WANT TO LIVE INDEPENDENTLY BUT ARE STUCK WITH THE SITUATIONS,DESTINY & PEOPLE AROUND.ONE AFTER ANOTHER PROBLEMS KEEPS ON COMING.I WAS VERY TALKATIVE,ENERGETIC& LIVELY PERSON.THOUGH FROM MIDDLE CLASS BACKGROUND ALWAYS HAD HIGH DREAMS.EVERY THING CEASEDOFF ONE AFTER ANOTHER. HVE TRIED EVERYTHING POSSIBLE BUT ALL IN VEIN.MY HUBBY IS HERE FROM PAST 22YRS,RUNS HARDWARE SHOP.CANT LIVE THIS HOUSE,AS WE HAVE OUR OWN HOUSE.CANT LIVE HIS MOM,AS HE IS D ONLY SON & CANT LIVE HIS SISTER AS SHE STAY UP ON THE FLOOR OF OUR BUILDING &MOST IMPORTANTLY HAS TO DEAL WITH OUR KIDS PROBLEM AS WE LOVE THEM LIKE ANYTHING.THEY R ADORABLE KIDS,WHO NEEDS OUR LOVE & SUPPORT FULLTIME....AS THEY CANT WALK ,THEY CANT TALK & ARE FULLY DEPEND ON US FOR EACH & EVERYTHING.PLS HELP ME AS I AM GOING THROUGH LOTS OF EMOTIONAL TRAUMA.CANT HANDLE ALL THIS ANYMORE.
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Articulate
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Date : 18/11/2009
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Hi Sonya,
I met this great guy in Dec08. He was all nice and we had a great 2-3 months. We met and he wanted to get married by Nov. I was very happy and then all of a sudden he changed. Things didn't remain the same between us, he started ignoring my calls but he introduced me to his family. He started acting cold but his parents kept in touch with me. This has been going on since the past 6 months now, he keeps giving me on and off signals.
I hear from his friends that he is quite a player and he has had many girlfriends in the past, also had a long standing affair with a an older women, which I suspect still continues because I know he still is in touch with this older women. I would like to give credit to him because he did confess about his past affairs and I did forgive him for everything but he continues with his ways and ignores me big time.
I do not know what to do. I love this guy a lot and I want to get married to him. He keeps giving on and off signals, weeks go by where he doesnot keep in touch and keeps doing the disappearing act. He says he is confused, I give him all the space that I could. He refuses to talk about it and stonewalls me. I desperately want to resolve things but don't know how to. My friends tell me, I should move on, I have tried but have failed miserably, he is the first thing on my mind when I wake up and last thing when I go to bed.
Please help me Sonya.
Note: I suffer from low self esteem, had a troublesome childhood, have had bad relationships in the past.
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